29 April 2010: Da Gym

Special Guest Stars: Southern Arizona Tea Bag Party (SATB)

The SATB sponsored a handball tournament at Da Gym. They had to stop when they ran out of handballs, took over the Lobby, Free Weight Room and Cardio Room, switched all the TVs to Fox News and watched stuff about the SB 1070 Immigration Bill.

Suddenly, the TV turned to snow, "Go Tea Baggers" came up on screen, followed by an endless loop of Sarah Palin's saying "Drill Baby Drill" followed by pictures of the Oil Slick about to hit New Orleans.

Then, "The Hacker" came on the TV and laughed like "The Joker" on Batman.

The Tea Baggers all said, "That guy is really mean!"

29 April 2010: Cardio and Weights

Treadmill, bicycle, Free Weights (bench press, squats, pullovers, shoulder press, dead lifts, curls, triceps and writs) and Cybex (leg press and calves).
The Wrestler, his GF and her son checked in the same time we did.
Dumbell was in the Free Weight Room.
The Two Fat Girls were in the Cybex Room. OMG! Obnoxious!

28 April 2010: Swimming

1850 yards: 1675 free and 175 back. Stupid Dumb A** raced Susan 5 laps and then took his towel and went home. Annoying ! :-(
The moon was full! Nice :-)
The cast from Saguaro Springs was in the Indoor Hot Tub. Annoying! :-(
Then we got a copy of the Tucson Weekly, drove home and had Polish Sausage, potatoes and sauerkraut/salad. :-).

26 April 2010: Cardio and Weights

Treadmill, bicycle, Free Weights (bench press, squats, pullovers, shoulder press and dead lifts) and Cybex (leg press and calves). I stopped the Super Squats program after recovering from the last time. I started back at 150 lbs with the seat reclined to work my quadricepts.

Diver was swimming fly and spitting in the pool! G&D!!!!

The Exhibitionists were standing in the weight room, seeing if they could get anyone to look at them. Annoying!

25 April 2010: Da Gym: Pelota Purepecha!

"News of the Weird" explained that this is an Aztec/Mayan game like field-hockey played with a fireball (!), sometimes played at night on unlighted fields.
Tonight, "Da Gods" vs "Da Humans". If Da Gods win, Da Humans die and will be resurrected as the Sun and Moon. Outdoors on Court 7, unless it rains and then the lights will be turned out and the game will be inside on Handball court 2a.

25 April 2010: Walk around the neighborhood

About a 4 mile walk around the neighborhood with Susan. Great weather and really nice sunset!

24 April 2010: Swimming

2000 yards: 1800 free and 200 back. Breather was swimming and the cast of Saguaro Springs was in the Indoor Hot Tub after a night of drinking. Some of them forgot to remove clothing before getting in the tub. One got in the tub in his unders!

19 April 2010: Cardio and Weights

Treadmill, bicycle, Free Weights (bench press, squats, pullovers, shoulder press and dead lifts) and Cybex (leg press and calves). I continued the "Super Squats" program on the Cybex leg press: 20 reps at 265 lbs. :-)
The Marine and the Wrestler were in the Gym.
The Wrestler came with his g/f and her teenage son.
The person on the treadmill next to Susan was spewing gas! Gross and Disgusting! :-(. :-(
And this guy decided to do wall squats in the hall so that no one could walk by him. Annoying!
:-(.

18 April 2010: Walk around the neighborhood

5.1 mile walk around the neighborhood with Susan. Good weather and a nice sunset.

16 April 2010: Muffin Top's Radio Dedication

Dear Casey,
I'd like to dedicate "Feel Like a Monster" by Skillet to myself!
I had a really bad day at Da Gym. I hogged the cardio machines, cutting in and out of the Cybex circuit, slamming weights, grunting, leaving the machines sweaty, leaving weights on the equipment, leaving my towel on the floor in the shower, racing a senior citizen on the Cardio machine, dropping my Mars bar on the carpet and leaving it there to melt, letting mosquitos in the weight room, and taking a hot tub in my gym clothes.
I am going to "Gym Therapy", but right now I really Feel Like a Monster.
Will you please play this song for me?
Thanks,
Muffin Top

15 April 2010: Cardio and Weights

Treadmill, bicycle, Free Weights (bench press, squats, pullovers, shoulder press, dead lifts, triceps, curls and wrists) and Cybex (leg press, calves, pull down and chest pull). I continued the "Super Squats" program on the Cybex leg press: 20 reps at 260 lbs. :-)
The Wrestlers and the Exhibitionists were at the club. :-(.

12 April 2010: Cardio and Weights

Treadmill, bicycle, Free Weights (bench press, squats, pullovers, shoulder press, dead lifts, triceps, curls and wrists) and Cybex (leg press, calves, pull down and chest pull). I continued the "Super Squats" program on the Cybex leg press: 20 reps at 255 lbs. :-)
The Wrestlers, Charles Manson and Miss Anorexia were in the gym.
Sarah Palin was on the tube :-(.

11 April 2010: Swimming

1600 yards: 1350 free, 150 back, 50 breast and 50 fly. The Pervy Guy was walking around with a towel wrapped around his waist! Gross and Disgusting! (G&D). Meanwhile, the Farkle family was playing in the pool, then they brought their little girl into the hot tub and their teenage son into the steam room where he proceeded to lick the glass window! G&D! While the Pervy Guy was cruising around!

10 April 2010: Swimming

1650 yards: 1400 free, 150 back, 50 breast and 50 fly. A Hot Chick and two Stupid Boys filled up one lane and sat on the lane line! Annoying. Even Breather was annoyed!

Da Gym, Episode 7

Special Guest Star: Jesse James

The Exhibitionists are in the Hot Tub when it's invaded by Jesse James and Friends. The Exhibitionists have a meltdown and end up in Sex Therapy.

In the interview, the Exhibitionists say, "That guy is really mean"

One of the wrestlers takes a picture of the hot tub scene with his cell phone and sells it to "The Tabloid."

Jesse and his Friends party at the "Bashful Bandit"

Thanks for the comments!

Thanks to all of the loyal fans of "Da Gym". Look for new episodes featuring The Sopranos, Jessie James, Brad Pitt, Bare Naked Ladies and Takeru Kobayashi.

Truly Nolen VW

08 April 2010: Da Gym: Episode 6

Special Guest Stars: Candid Camera and Zo Carroll and the Soul Breakers

Candid Camera (CC) sets up two Photo Enforcement Vans just outside the Club on Friday night before the Barbeque. The Vans flash every car that goes in and out of the Club and no one can figure out why they are getting ticketed.

CC is laughing until the Citizens Against Photo Enforcement (CAPE) make an Intervention. A "Truly Nolen" VW pulls into the parking lot and a Citizen sets up laser designators on both Vans. Then, he takes off for the River.

The CAPE Cobra Helicopter swoops in low over the western notch in the Catalina Mountains, drops green smoke over the Club to signal the Intervention and turns around and fires two Hellfire knock off missiles at the Vans, destroying both of them, and creating two bonfires in the parking lot. The Cobra flies out to the River, picks up the Citizen and high tails it back to the CAPE Compound.

The party moves from the Pool to the parking lot. Everyone get a skewer and roasts weiners. Zo Carroll and the Soul Breakers sing "Light My Fire"

In the interview, Candid Camera says, "Those guys are really mean".

06 April 2010: Swimming

1800 yards: 1625 free and 175 back. One of the wrestlers was in the hot tub in the same shorts that he worked out in last night. Gross!

05 April 2010: Cardio and Weights

Treadmill, bicycle, Free Weights (bench press, squats, pullovers, dead lifts, triceps and curls) and Cybex (leg press, calves, pull down and chest pull). I continued the "Super Squats" program on the Cybex leg press: 20 reps at 250 lbs. :-)

The three wrestlers were in the free weight room. One was working out. One was weighing himself. The third was talking about all of the junk food he ate (ribs, onion rings, fries, ice cream..) and that he gained 3 lbs!

08 April 2010: Da Gym: Episode 5

Special Guest Star: The Loch Ness Monster

Nessie tries to race Susan swimming and loses, big time.

In the interview, Susan says, "That guy in the next lane was racing me all night, really annoying!"

Nessie goes to "Bagpipes" and has haggis.

We go home and have vegetarian burritos.

05 April 2010: Da Gym, Episode 3

Special Guest Stars: The Cast of Jersey Shore

The Loud Mouth Fat Girls diss Snooki. They start fighting in the Cybex Room and the rest of the Jersey Shore Cast and the The Two Stupid Boys join in.

In the interview at the Urgent Care Center, the Loud Mouth Fat Girls both say, "She was really mean!"

The Two Stupid Boys both say, "Situation has abs!"

The Cast of Jersey Shore goes out for drinks at Shooters and The Depot.

04 April 2010: Swimming

1650 yards: 1400 free, 150 back, 50 breast and 50 fly. The Exhibitionists were in the Hot Tub and Breather was swimming laps tonight. Susan and I had burritos for dinner. :-)

04 April 2010: Da Gym, Episode 2

Special Guest Star: Michael Phelps

Diver tries to race Michael Phelps fly in the pool. Diver makes a big splash at the end and gets Breather all wet. Breather has to get out of the pool and dry off!

In the interview, Breather says, "That guy is really mean!"

We go to Subway with Michael and have foot long sandwiches with Jarrod.

Diver gets a tatoo, "Michael Phelps is Fly!"

03 April 2010: Swimming

1900 yards: 1625 free, 175 back, 50 breast and 50 fly. The pool was full, more or less tonight. The rest of the club was empty. :-)

01 April 2010: New reality show, "Da Gym", based on my blog

I was contacted my a major TV network about creating a new reality TV show, "Da Gym," based on my Blog!

All of the annoying characters (Breather, Diver, Spitter, Under Armor, Lost, Miss Anorexia, Mr. Ellipse, Yakker, Dumbell, The Nasty Girl, Two Stupid Boys, Skank Patrol, The Loud Mouth Fat Girls and The Sweaty Guy) will be in the show along with special guest appearance by Marius Pudzianowski!

Our Dinner Favorites will be featured in the after workout meals!

In the first episode, Susan and I join the gym and go to workout in the weight room. The Two Stupid Boys are making a lot of noise and Marius tells them "Byc spokonjy" ("Be quiet, " in Polish). Then he, picks up the barbell they were lifting with one hand! The Two Stupid Boys start crying, then they are interviewed and complain that, "He was really mean to us!"

01 April 2010: Cardio and weights

Treadmill, bicycle, Free Weights (bench press, squats, pullovers, dead lifts, triceps and curls) and Cybex (leg press, calves, pull down and chest pull). I continued the "Super Squats" program on the Cybex leg press: 20 reps at 245 lbs. :-)

Diver was swimming fly in the pool and splashed water all over the deck. A new guy ("Under Armor") wearing all Under Armor gear with an Under Armor bag did a one lap circuit of the entire free weight room! Annoying! Miss Anorexia AZ 2010 was sitting on the stationary bike reading a Diet Magazine. And, finally, another guy ("Dumbell") was walking laps around the gym, all over, carrying dumbells, bumping into things and tripping over stuff. I guess he couldn't remember where the dumbell rack was!

Then, I went home and had Super Soup with Susan. :-)